Ryan Connors
Meet our Seminarians / Ryan Connors
Pope John Paul II was right. A call to the priesthood—first and foremost—is a gift and mystery. Much more than the sacrifices and challenges, more than our discerning or our action, the priesthood is a gift from God. It is a gift both to the man called and to the whole Church. It is also a mystery in that God Himself is the primary actor in a manner known fully only to Him.
I was blessed to grow up in a faithful Catholic family where Catholic education, Sunday Mass, and nightly prayers were the basis of my learning the faith. I point to my parents as my first teachers of Christian virtue and models of deep love.
My first thoughts of priesthood came in high school. I attended Bishop Hendricken and greatly enjoyed the Theology classes there. I remember particularly learning about the Sacrament of Holy Orders made possible by the direct succession of bishops from the apostles. Apostolic succession was a historical witness of the connection of Christ to the Church today. For me, learning about the priesthood gave rise to those first thoughts about being called to the priesthood myself.
In the fall of 2001 I began my freshman year at Boston College. At that time I began the study of philosophy which has had a real impact in my life. The deeper I penetrated the mysteries of human life the more I was convinced of the truth of the Christian Gospel and of the need for a personal response to it. It was during my freshman year in college that I felt the Lord at work in my life in a way that I had not previously. I began attending daily Mass and praying daily in a more intense way.
In this experience of deeper openness to the Lord, I felt two distinct calls. First, I was drawn to a deepened call to conversion and holiness of life. Second, I believed the Lord was calling me to the priesthood. I can only describe this experience as feeling drawn or called out of myself to deeper friendship with the Lord and then to the kind of total self-giving of priestly ministry.
After I graduated from college in 2005, I entered the seminary for the Diocese of Providence. While at first I had real apprehension about sharing my intention to study for the priesthood with others, in time, I found entering the seminary a smooth transition.
While I had very good experience in the seminary in Providence, at the end of one year of Pre-Theology studies I decided not to request advancement to Theology. I did so with mixed emotions as part of me still felt called to the priesthood, but I was just unsure that it was for me. It didn't seem like the right fit or at least the right time. Ultimately, I think it can down to the fact that I didn't know if I would be happy as a priest. I loved the priesthood and wanted to serve God but was not convinced that it was the best fit for me.
After I left the seminary, I worked for two years in Washington, D.C. in the United States Senate. I greatly enjoyed working there and was very happy. I was doing my best to apply to the teaching of the Gospel to the temporal needs of our world. More and more though, thoughts of priesthood kept coming back.
A friend told me once that my interest and attraction to the priesthood was not simply the interest and desire of any faithful Catholic man. I realized that to be quite true. I had such a deep interest and desire to serve as a priest and help people in that unique way. While I enjoyed working in Washington and had seen the impact faithful Christians could have, more and more I felt that my own calling was to priestly service. I wanted—and was drawn—to proclaim the Gospel, to lead people to Jesus, and, through the Sacraments, to have that communion with Him realized.
In the spring of 2008 I was accepted back as a seminarian for the Diocese of Providence. In a real way, I felt it was the Lord leading the way. At a certain point in your life, you have to make a judgment about what direction you ought to go. I felt the Lord was calling me to priesthood, and only by His grace, have tried to say "Yes" to following Him.
The idea of a man leaving everything, like the early apostles did, to go and follow the Lord in service to His people, fills me with much joy. What a joy—and indeed a gift and mystery—to be conformed to Jesus Christ and serve His people as His priest.