Mary said, "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word." (Luke 1:38) When asked what my favorite scripture passage was, back in high school, I used to answer with this one for I thought that I was being called to do as Mary did; to be a servant to the Lord. As hindsight is 20/20, I am able to see that, even tough this was my favorite line; I did not live out what it was telling me. Why, then, is this line still my favorite passage today?

Let's go back a few years, to the early nineties, when I was in high school. I was involved in my parish and regional youth ministry activities in many ways, I would go to mass on Sundays, and frequent different prayer meetings. But, this was not how I was being called to answer this line from scripture. I was a happy Sunday Catholic; I enjoyed my prayer life at the time. I was not looking for anything more. After high school I went to Rhode Island College, where I majored in French and Secondary Education. I was fortunate enough to get a teaching job, upon the completion of my degree, at a local Catholic high school. At that time I was fulfilling God's will by teaching at a religious school rather than public. Well, this is what I believed, since I did not want to entertain the thought of what His true will was for me.

I continued my life as an extremely content language teacher in the Catholic School System. Throughout my years of teaching I continued to search out what I was being called to do. I thought that there was more to life than just teaching, for I knew that I was not using my God-given gifts to their utmost potential. The problem I faced was how, and where, I was to use my skills most effectively. With this question in my heart, and definitely on my mind, I decided to turn to god. It may sound like a cliché, but it is the truth: I brought this question to prayer and asked for some Divine guidance. I was totally unsure of the direction to take in life. I started to look at different graduate programs in different schools, but I still didn't know what I was going to study. I started an MBA program at Johnson and Wales University in International Business and thought this was the answer to my struggling prayer. I knew that this is what God was calling me to do. Since I am gifted in language and I love to travel, I thought this must be where the Guy upstairs was calling me. If it wasn't, well, the money in the business industry was very good and I am sure that it would have helped ease the troubles I would have faced. I began my studies at JWU and hated every course that I took. It wasn't because of the teachers or the program; it was because this was not where I was being called. The Lord was answering my prayers and I was ignoring Him.

While in my last trimester of studies at JWU, I was still teaching at Mount St. Charles Academy in Woonsocket, a 45-minute commute from my home in Bristol. I was the advisor to the Eighth Grade Class and I remember this one Sunday morning when I was to go to the Academy where we were to celebrate a Communion Breakfast for the class. There was a rather unusual start to the morning; after waking up around 5:30 AM and bathing, the phone rang at home where we were greeted with the news that my grandmother of 84 years had died.

As for a little background on my grandmother, she was a very spiritual woman towards the end of her life. She would pray the rosary five times a day, and she lived in a nursing home with a few religious sisters, one with whom she became close friends. Being a pro8d grandmother, I knew she was pray8ing for me at least once a day during her devotionals. I truly feel that she has had an immense impact on my life as a seminarian, for she prayed often here on earth and I am sure that she is praying double now that she is at rest.

I attended all the services for my grandmother and I have a little reflection on her life at the funeral mass. I remember the serve like it was yesterday. My grandmother was not always a holy woman; she had an immense conversion later on in her life when she allowed God to enter it. Why was I not doing the same with my life? Did I not see what happened to my grandmother when Christ entered her life? If I were to have continued, without facing or listening to God's will, I am sure my faith would have ended up leaving me as abruptly as my grandmother had.

After the service we had, as all good Portuguese families, a brunch at our home for all that were in attendance. The people were coming from everywhere. The house was filled with relatives, friends of my parents, friends of my grandmother, coworkers and more. Amongst the crowd, I heard some of my parents' close friends talking about the reflection I had just given at mass, and they called me over.

"Ever think about being a priest?" they asked. "No, that's not for me. I want to travel and use my languages; this is why I am studying for an MBA," I replied. "I think you need to look at the priesthood. After hearing you talk at mass, you have a gift," they continued. "He has given you this, you'd make a great priest." "Thanks for the concern, but international business is calling." I added just before leaving to get a finger sandwich.

Throughout those weeks, I was praying and being totally oblivious to the answers that God was giving to me. I don't think I was ready at that time to listen, but from that day on, the conversations were very similar to the one at the brunch and they were coming more and more frequent.

"What was I to do?" I knew the answer; "I'd entertain and pacify God by looking at the priesthood." So I made an appointment with my pastor and talked about the call and what it was all about. He gave me some sound advice that I am still using today.

The next day or so I spoke with my parents about what had transpired the day prior. Being people of faith, they were both happy, except for just one question posed by my mother; "Are you going to be lonely?" I assured her hat priests today are not stuck in their rectories all day to be alone, but they have lives. My parents have always been supportive of me in all that I do.

Still pacifying God (at least that is what I thought I was doing), I went to check out the seminary and meeting the priests there. Upon arriving at the seminary, I felt uncomfortable, but I felt an overwhelming peace within my heart. I started the application process immediately after having visited and that is when the hardest part of my story began.

I was a teacher at Mount St. Charles Academy during this time and I really did enjoy my time there. I had a great rapport with the teachers and students and I loved my career. The following month was difficult because I had to go through the application process and work in a place I would be leaving, in order to enter a place that was totally foreign to me. This is where the discomfort reappeared, for I was faced with a situation like never before. I would have to leave my job and begin the foll09wing school year as a student and not a teacher. This was a definite challenge. Though the discomfort was present, peace never left my heart throughout my decision process and still rests there today.