Fr. Jared Costanza was ordained to the priesthood on June 26, 1999 and is Assistant Pastor at St. Francis of Assisi Parish in Wakefield

It's been ten years since I graduated high school. I remember back at that time my parish priests were suggesting to me that I consider becoming a priest. I remember laughing at them. "You guys can't even marry!" And, at that time, I thought the priesthood was goring. What did these guys do all day? Pray? Read? Golf? The priesthood was the furthest thing from my mind.

It all changed when I was a freshman in college. My pastor hired me to work at my parish. Day in and day out, I got to see just how active and generous my priests were with their lives. I got to see the difference they made in so many people's lives-daily. After a while, they asked me if I was at least praying about it6. I said I was, even though I really wasn't. But I began to, daily, in my prayers and thoughts. Something needed to happen for me to take it more seriously. I needed the "draw", the "call", the "proof" that God would support my decision. After months of prayer, it came, in a way. I remember in my prayer a Good Friday image, Christ on His cross, and me a bystander. I got the sense that, as He was thinking about the mission He was dying for, He was saying: "Hey, I could really use your help, Jared. Look at my Church. Help me out." There were so many hurdles though. Even though prayer eventually led me to see myself as a priest more easily, it still seemed like an impossibility. There I was, a freshman in college. The last thing I wanted was seven more years of school.

So, I tried to delay, and occupy my mind with other things. I tried to think of every possible reason not to become a priest-I though that maybe I could excuse my way out of service. I sounded much like Jeremiah in my prayer: "But, Lord, I'm too young. I could never be ready for such a responsibility. You don't want me. I wouldn't know what to say, or what to do..." But the Lord had an answer for Jeremiah, and He had one for me, too. "What, you think I'd trust you out there all by yourself? You know I'll be with you always, so stop worrying!" "But, Lord, I'm not the most religious person in the world, either, what about that?" It wasn't too long after that one that I came across this quote: "God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts." Maybe God did want me. Maybe He really could use me. The hurdles in front of me just continued to get knocked down, one by one, and I knew I was getting closer to accepting the call.

The toughest hurdle to clear was the celibacy one. I began to argue with God in my prayers "You even said the 'It's not good for the man to be alone,' and so you created woman, that the two would be together. Even Saint Peter was married!" But that image of Jesus kept coming back to me. "Forget all that. Look at me, up here, on the cross. Come on, I need you." How could I refuse? I knew I was being called into service. I had to do whatever it took to clear that hurdle. And what it took - what it takes - is trust in God, and in His plan for my life.

Finally, in the seminary, I cleared my last hurdle - the 'unworthiness' hurdle. "How could I ever be a priest," I thought. "I'm nowhere near being worthy." I thought about some of the saints, like St. Francis of Assisi, who refused to become a priest because of his unworthiness. Well, if he wasn't worthy, how could I ever be! I just couldn't get past it. Finally, my spiritual director leveled with me. He said, "You know what, Jared. You're not worthy! No one is." "But", he added, "God calls you anyway". With that, I was through making excuses and explaining my way out of my call to priestly service. I was ready to say "yes".

Even though I have only been a priest for 21 months, that "yes" has already landed me happiness in a ministry that includes more than I had ever imagined, and fulfillment in knowing that I will get to spend the rest of my life as a priest, serving the Lord of the Cross.